i talk about science too much

so i'm taking this bacteriology class this semester and i'm pretty sure it's turning me into a hypochondriac. i mean, i've always been kind of a germophobe; not to the extreme where i won't share drinks (which is bad, i know...but i really don't care if you're not sick)- but to the point where i'm obsessed with purell and am probably one of the individuals responsible for its declining anti-biotic powers and and slow uprising of microbe resistance.

...i used to have a purell keychain on my lunchbox in highschool. (there are several things wrong with this picture...but...

...lunchbox? hahaha wtf.)

anyways, so i'm a bio major and i'm a total science nerd, and am unashamed of that. i love science. i love my bacteriology class. it is absolutely fascinating. did you know that in order for the naked eye to be able to see a cloud of bacteria (even just a speck) in a test tube in culture, that means that there are over 10 million bacteria in that little speck?

mind blowing.

so each week in lab we use potentially very dangerous bacteria (e. coli...yum. staph aureous? staph infections are the leading cause of deaths in hospitals i believe...tight.) and even though i wash my hands obsessively, i am still afraid that i am going to contract some crazy disease and will need to be shipped to the CDC headquarters in south carolina (i think) to be cured.

ebola? mrsa? idk.

so last week my nose piercing got a bit infected, which is disgusting, but it happens, and i was convinced it was at the hand of my negligence in not getting all of the bacteria out of every pore in my body. i frantically went to the health center on campus, who are so advil-happy it's insane (they think advil can cure a sinus infection. and strep throat. and pregnancy.) and i was half expecting them to give me a pack of ibuprofin and send me on my way. but there was actually a competant doctor on staff who gave me alcohol wipes and it cleared up right away.

this week, i got a stomach flu. it's been going around campus and is fondly called "the plague." i thought maybe i got this wretched virus at the hand of karmic retribution for making poor decisions while inebriated. i also thought maybe i had a seizure, licked a bacterial culture in lab, then hit my head on the lab bench, got amnesia and forgot about it, but this scenario is unlikely.

someone would've told me about that.


haha.

so i've been subsiting on a diet of toast and gatorade for two days, and someone just ran outside my door saying "WHO WANTS TO FUCK ME I'M FUCKIN HORNY"

charming. with my luck that's probably the guy i'll end up marrying and i just missed the opportunity to meet him.